over a year later…
I thought I would slink into the night and fizzle out into the wind. My mind constantly runs back to the forgotten blog I told myself I would dedicate myself to for at least a full year. It took about five months for me to ”throw in the towel.”
In truth, this blog was supposed to be my outlet to express my love for music. As for most things in my life, I got too in my head. Who the hell wants to read what I have to say anyway?
It never stopped the incessant need to draft blogs in my head. I’ll be driving, listening to a playlist, and get that frisson sensation, and immediately put together thoughts of what I would write…then dun, dun, duuuuuun life and my undiagnosed ADHD would let that thought, idea, or draft drift into the searing Florida heat waves.
I’m coming back but doing it differently.
“Going to California” by Led Zeppelin flows through the speakers as I hone in on what I truly want to accomplish. A song that is based on making a change in search of something that seems out of reach yet within arm’s length seems befitting to my dilemma. Now, mind you, the song is really about the baser instincts of naïveté and finding love, regardless of where it is found. We, in the end, find ourselves in the same predicament. Either way…
I’m gonna take a chance on a big jet plane and never let them tell me that they’re all the same.
I had written about my introduction to the genres of music throughout my life, and always said at some point I would share it. Still in my drafts, I read it over and find it so goddamn pretentious. Music, well, art in general, is vital and so completely distinct to every person. What I like may not be what you like. I do, however, have an uncanny ability to find the good in everything. I can put myself in the shoes of the lyricists or producer and feel or hear what they want to transpire through their art. Not to say that I believe every song or arrangement is gold, but we are all humans who live to create and pour our hearts into something at risk of rejection. BIG Hence, to me, quitting on myself in the things I want to create. I’m taking the pressure off by not truly posting about my blog entries on socials or keeping up with scheduled posts, which are determined by no one else but me, until I figure out a good balance, and just do this for me.
Originally, the thought behind Frisson by Play was to, yes, express my love of music, but also to somehow make this into some form of career. I want my life to be surrounded by music. I want to see live shows until the end of my days, even if that means I might go slightly deaf - although if you talk to some of my friends, they’ll tell you I’m already halfway there!
Man, there is nothing better than being in a crowd of hundreds or even thousands sharing a space to listen to their favorite artists. When I’m at shows, you can catch me singing at the top of my lungs, rubbing up on people, sweaty ass people, making friends I’ll most likely never see again, and people watching. Of course, I’m enjoying the show and secretly evaluating how the set goes, but watching others lose themselves is cathartic.
Those are the things I want to write about.
Help me give two big ass middle fingers to impostor syndrome and rock this shit out!
